my mom was giving me advice (MY mom was giving me ADVICE) yesterday afternoon, while i was coming really down from a particularly awful high. i mean the first piece of advice she gave me was not to do drugs. noted, agreed. i don’t, usually, but i made a weird self-indulgent, or maybe self-destructive exception. anyway, what she said to me, after chewing me out a bit, was this:

“Don’t get swept up in who is around you. Don’t forget who you are.”

she’s right, of course, but then again, it’s not so much forgetting who i am as remembering which one of me i’m being and rounding her edges until she blends together better with the rest of all the dimensions of me. that doesn’t even make sense i’m sure. i’m aware other people are not like this. just by pointing it out, i make people uncomfortable. my mom also reminded me that i’ve always been different. mom’s are supposed to say stuff like that, that you’re different and unique glittering snowflake, but she wasn’t telling me that to be complimentary. she was saying “you’ve always been different.” as in: other people’s boundaries and avenues are not your boundaries and avenues. what ruminates in your mind for consideration is not what everyone else is considering. you are not happy how others are happy. you are not sad how others are sad. don’t forget that.