take a yoga class. take a dance class. practice. bake something complicated. walk somewhere far, walk back. read a book. write. listen to the same song on repeat. take another class. dance. listen to the same song on repeat. grocery shop, linger, buy the same things you always buy. get coffee. listen to the same song on repeat. draw the water so hot you can barely touch it. draw your neck. diagram conversations. wonder what. use too much salt. take a train, watch everything speed by. feel nothing. think about her breath. feel everything. go for a run through the autumn colors. love new york. hate new york. spend too long looking in the bathroom mirror obsessing over some minor flaw or stray hair. rush. convert an idea into a different idea. chew enough gum that your jaw hurts. sit on the back stoop and take pictures of nothing. can’t capture nothing. have a drink in the middle of the day. try to think through complicated thoughts. fail. make plans, dream harder. thicken skin. ache. listen to the same song on repeat.