today is the day where i:

  • take down all the weird baby cherub art in our house left from previous owner/landlord/tenant.

  • replace said creepy baby angel paintings with art i will a) buy from savers b) buy from ikea c) make myself.

  • FUCKING FINISH YOUR LAUNDRY, GIRL. FINISH IT.

  • go for a training run, have a legit yoga practice, clean your shit up.

i need to be challenged, constantly, i need to physical sweat out all my weird weirdness and insecurities and i need to be tough to feel tough. right now… i do not feel physically challenged. i am not in Fightin’ Shape.

I am also not one to complain the state of my body as a) i am a hardcore rockin’ yogi who will literally try any physical activity on the planet, from rock climbing to krav maga to ballet. on a regular basis my legs are thunderous cantilevers of pure force which carry me to and fro, usually at speeds upwards of 7mph by foot or upwards of 14 mph on wheely devices. my arms are Blacka Blacka i got ya tickets to the gun show do you have a permit for those etc etc and other firearms jokes. its taken me a while to love my body like that and i do not intend to go back in time. b) i don’t like to complain unless i have a gameplan to change it, and i hate when people complain about their bodies being X way or Y way because it’s not loving yourself, its not honoring your body for what it is and does for you, it devalues your priorities and your life, and it sure as shit is also not gonna shave the whole chocolate cake you ate off your butt. complaints will not defend you in a brawl. complaints will not help you move that dumpster blocking your car in and it won’t win you a medal in a 5k.

so fierce shit-kickin’ warrior; this is usually the state of things. but warrior status has devolved into soft innocent baby jesus status. cute puffy stuffed turtle status. sloth on downers.

and this has started to ooze into the rest of my life. i’m getting sloppy. i’m getting lazy. i’m getting messier. my clothes are all over the place. i keep losing stuff. i feel a little boring, a little … lame. this is not how i pride myself of behaving, and this sure isn’t how i stomp around and take names, or come at life from a place of love and generosity and strength. nope.

and right now, i need to be stomping. i need to be in game form. there is a whole mess of things to be done, and i am counting on myself to show up, on my A Game.